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… at least according to certain malicious right-wing propaganda outlets.

I have a lot of Christian friends, but sometimes it’s hard not to see the whole religion as one utterly contemptible monolith.

It takes real conscious effort to be restrained, and to give credit to the many good and decent religious people I know, and to funnel my disgust appropriately towards the occasional obnoxious scumbag who deserves it.

How does WorldNetDaily writer Chrissy Satterfield offend mine eyes with her revolting existence? Let me count the ways.

For a start, she’s a fucking liar.

“Never would I encourage vandalism,” she proclaims, as she gleefully describes the defacing of a billboard put up by the North Carolina Secular Association recently, because she knows that’s something she has to say to cover her ass, as a pitiful gesture to avoid accusations of supporting a criminal act.

But when she’s also gushing over how this blatant vandalism has reassured her that “all is not lost”, and outright names it as “something positive”, it’s impossible to see this perfunctory disclaimer as anything but disingenuous.

I would like to extend my deepest thanks to the man or woman responsible for this vandalism. I appreciate the action you took.

How is this not a ringing endorsement of a criminal activity?

Also, she plays the victim card so hard and repeatedly that all the other cards are getting scuffed and I’m going to have to get a fresh deck. In a country which has never been led by a non-Christian President, and in which a majority of the population are so fanatically Christian that they either deny or misunderstand numerous important points of basic science, it’s somehow atheists who deserve to get slapped down a little.

As retribution for how they’ve been “vandalizing [her] beliefs”. As if that were a phrase that had any meaning whatsoever.

She actually calls atheists her “oppressors”. She’s not even self-deluded enough to pretend she doesn’t think that atheists are oppressing Christians in the USA. She’s just sufficiently moronic to be totally up-front about it.

Those oppressive atheists aren’t as “calm and passive” as Chrissy Satterfield would like. They sound a dangerous and aggressive lot. They’re probably the sort of violent, unruly sort who go round damaging and defacing other people’s property whenever they see anyone else expressing an opinion they disagree with.

Oh, wait.

She does touch on this point as well, actually:

Incidentally, when was the last you heard about a Christian billboard that was vandalized? It happens all the time, yet it’s never “newsworthy.”

She doesn’t cite a single instance of this occurring, obviously, let alone provide any evidence that any atheists would actually support the defacement of a Christian billboard in an equivalent situation. But she’s hypocritically whining about it anyway, venting her entirely self-contradictory outrage about this terrible crime even though it hasn’t happened.

But if it did happen, it would be terrible. Even though it’s wonderful that it’s happened now, to somebody else.

By the way, let’s recap on the exact message that was originally written on the billboard:

One Nation Indivisible

That’s it.

That’s the “controversial” message designed by a “spiteful” group to “deliberately insult” Christians.

I wonder if it was so controversial and offensive when it was part of a loyalty oath written in 1892 by a Baptist minister and called the Pledge of Allegiance.

The point of the billboard, of course, is to highlight the fact that the Pledge has gone through several revisions in its history, and the words “under God” were only added in 1948 1954.

It’s an interesting historical point, and it’s worth being aware that not all the schoolchildren who regularly take the Pledge consider themselves to be “under God” – and they’re certainly not all under the same God.

But even bringing up the point is too much for some Christians to bear.

This billboard simply suggests that the nation is, indeed, indivisible, while subtly and unobtrusively omitting certain other words which often accompany this idea. It doesn’t scrawl any lines over anything; it doesn’t rip the pages out of anyone else’s copy of anything; it doesn’t detest or decry any sentiment that any religious Americans want to express, let alone attempt to censor such expression. It just says One Nation Indivisible, and hints that maybe the quietly absent portion of the message isn’t what’s really important.

And certain Christians cannot stand this.

Theirs is the dominant faith in the world, with over two billion adherents, and is vastly more influential than any other belief system in the US. But it’s also such a flimsy, paper-thin structure, liable to collapse at any moment with even the slightest questioning prod, that some of them find it necessary to quash dissenting opinion even to the point of breaking the law.

Well, let’s see them ignore this.

As soon as someone else has a different idea that they’re not afraid to tell the world, out comes the screeching of unfairness and the violent, belligerent, cruelly hostile defense system.

The Yahoo! news story which this arrogant zealot linked to makes reference to several more acts of vandalism, this time against posters that did nothing more than let people know that atheists exist, and yet more bus ads being defaced, which don’t even reference Christianity or any religion, let alone make assertions about them that could possibly cause offence.

And Chrissy Satterfield also praises these criminal acts. There doesn’t seem to exist an attack on non-believers’ freedom of expression which she doesn’t fully support. She is hateful and malicious, and she must be colossally insecure, if the only way she can see for “Christians to stand up for themselves” is to attack and brutalise and destroy any other system of thought with the audacity to make itself known. It is utterly pathetic.

People like this claim to be just trying to protect their own rights, and angered by how easily these rights are afforded to other groups, but this is transparent bullshit. Anything not going her way is called injustice and oppression. Anytime she’s not allowed to retaliate against this perceived injustice with the full force of her self-righteousness, she complains that everyone else is getting special treatment.

The vandal stood up for what he believed in and said, “To heck with what anyone thinks.” I find it quite refreshing considering all of the negativity our country has accumulated lately.

It’s the very existence of atheists with the gall to say what they believe that constitutes “negativity” in Chrissy Satterfield’s eyes. And the criminal attack on a minority group’s efforts to make use of their right to free speech is a positive, to her.

As Brielle points out, atheists, LGBT folk, and many others regularly speak out and say “To heck with what anyone thinks” in exactly the way Chrissy was just praising. In fact, that’s arguably what the North Carolina Secular Association were doing with this very billboard.

But when they do that, Chrissy’s all for shouting them down and stomping on their efforts to get their message heard. Because she doesn’t mean what she says. What she admires is when people stand up for her beliefs, without caring what those other people think. Because those people don’t count. They can be oppressed and shouted down all she likes. And they don’t get to speak up if they have anything to say that she finds offensive.

And who’s protecting my right not to be offended?

You don’t have one, you pompous, self-absorbed cunt. And if you can point to a single instance of an atheist ever claiming such a right for themselves, I’ll happily suggest they join you in shutting the fuck up.

Chrissy Satterfield, your utter contempt for anyone else’s rights is despicable. Please, for the love of anything which is capable of inducing such an emotion in your twisted, blackened heart, find a dictionary, look up the word “compassion”, and spend a few minutes trying to understand why some fellow humans might consider this a desirable attribute.

(Hat-tip to the Friendly Atheist, who is well named, particularly in comparison to the tone of my own tirade.)

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Maybe I should subscribe to regular email news updates from WorldNetDaily. Or maybe my walls are just fine without a regular pattern of head-imprints.

Seriously, the fucktardery there would never leave me short of material, even if the same thing couldn’t be said for my sanity. I don’t go there much myself, but they get talked about plenty by braver souls than me around the blogosphere. I don’t really have the time or inclination to formulate an actual counter-argument to any of this bullshit, though gay rights is something I’ll add to my list of possible topics to discuss in the Skeptictionary someday (perhaps under a general heading of Humanism, or something) – for now, then, it’s bullet-point sarcasm time.

To begin with, there is no such thing as homophobia. A phobia is defined as a fear or anxiety that exceeds normal proportions.

You’re attributing to the English language way too much consistency if you expect homophobia to simply mean “a phobia of homos”. It is a rich and complex tongue, where inflammable means flammable, a parkway and a driveway give entirely misleading instructions as to their purpose, and a male homophobe can also be a cunt.

Odd, isn’t it, that you never hear about latent heterosexuals?

Yes, quite astounding that people unsure about unfamiliar feelings of attraction toward the opposite sex that they can’t ignore, are so rarely compelled to repress and hide these feelings and try to deny what’s going on inside them. Especially when you consider how much heterosexual urges have been reviled as unclean and ungodly by such huge swathes of society for so long, and being a “straight” has become such a social stigma; you’d have thought any man finding himself interested in a woman would do his best to keep very quiet about it.

Even the ancient Greeks, to whom modern-day gays enjoy comparing themselves, never engaged in anything quite as bizarre as same-sex marriages.

Wikipedia has a variety of articles on Pederasty in ancient Greece, Philosophy of Greek pederasty, and so forth. The amount of poetry these guys wrote about pretty young boys is astonishing. You really think modern gay marriage would have freaked them out as much as it does you?

Homosexuals like to picture themselves as the innocent victims of the oppressive majority.

Fuck you. Just… fuck you.

It’s silly enough when they feel they can use logic to disprove the existence of God.

Gays are trying to disprove the existence of God? Oh wait, he’s moved onto atheists now. My mistake. Yeah, those damn atheists, with their logic, and reason, and coherent arguments… yeah.

While it’s true that Germany had been a traditionally Christian nation, Hitler was neither German nor Christian. He and his followers were pagans. They didn’t march and murder under the cross of Jesus Christ, but under the swastika of Adolf Hitler.

Yeah, no Jesus for Hitler, and no Christianity for the Nazis. It must be nice when you can simply close your eyes and make the world seem just how you want it to.

Oh, whatever, I’m going to bed.

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