“You don’t want the Gay Liberation Movement to morph into something like the Ku Klux Klan,” the Archbishop of Chicago (they seriously have those?) recently said.
And he’s right. I certainly don’t want that. That would be terrible, if that happened.
In fact, here’s a list of some things which would be terrible, should they come to pass:
– The Gay Liberation Movement morphing into something like the Ku Klux Klan.
– The ACLU transmogrifying into three hundred Spartans.
– My fiancée being replaced by a clone of John Wayne Gacy, Jr.
– A plate of fish fingers eating me for dinner.
– My house being haunted by the ghosts of dinosaurs who used to roam the plains of ancient Kent.
– Discovering that my life is being written by Dan Brown and I’m about to be plunged into a web of intrigue and conspiracy and clunkily expository dialogue.
– The Catholic Church so ignoring the teachings of its heralded Messiah that it protects child abusers and puts thousands more young people at risk of serious harm by impeding criminal investigations.
Fortunately, I think I’m pretty safe from most of those horrendous possibilities. Nearly all of them, in fact.