…These are a few of my favourite things.
Most religions have some very strong views about penises and vaginas and anuses and the things you are or aren’t allowed to do with them. God, they tend to agree, has a plan, in which sex plays a very particular part.
Of course, most humans are quite capable of independently discovering how much fun can be had with these bits of themselves, if you leave them alone in a room for a few minutes. A quick Google search will confirm that sex is among the most popular contact sports available in the modern world. But most of those ways of doing it are wrong.
God’s ideas of sex are very, very specific. It’s for deliberate procreation, sometimes, if you’re married, and of opposite sex, and there’s only two of you, maybe, depending on who you ask.
Animals have sex too, but they’re much more… well, animal about it. It’s all feral and bestial and carefree and irresponsible and
way more fun not a suitable way for civilised folk like you and me to behave. We’re different from the animals, better than, morally responsible. We’re expected to take a totally different approach to the whole business of sex than they do.
So… Why did God choose to give humans and animals basically identical biological functions and urges, if he intended such completely different results?
He wants sex between humans to be special and sacred, we’re told, and it comes with many stipulations. It’s only permissible if it’s producing offspring to further praise his glorious name, or at least cementing the loving bond between a man and woman joined in his eyes in holy blah blah. And yet, to achieve this, we’re given basically the same process as he gave the animals, who mount and rut and fuck whenever the mood takes them.
Wouldn’t it have served God’s purpose rather better (and made it much easier for all of us to avoid straying into temptation by just wanting to have a good time) if he’d provided a different system in our case? Something which still achieves his ineffable goals for us all, but which doesn’t tempt us to act like such depraved beasts?
The way things are, it just seems like we’re closely genetically related to these depraved beasts, and have evolved our sex drive through a similar process of selection with variation that they did. And that’s surely not in God’s best interests.