The Catholic Church counts its assets in billions. Measured both in people and Euros.
It’s had the occasional brush with scandal in the past.
Okay, that’s an understatement. In fact, the Contents section alone on Wikipedia’s Catholic sex abuse cases page runs for several screens.
And in just a few short weeks now, the Pope – the guy in charge, with those aforementioned billions largely at his disposal, who lives in a thousand-room Palace, sits on a throne, and has a massive sparkly hat – is coming to visit the UK.
He’s planning to provide me with “guidance on the great moral issues of our day”.
All this has already been quite enough to do things to my blood pressure that don’t bear thinking about.
And now, because of all the money that our cash-strapped, economically rocky country is paying for a lecture in ethics from the head of a billion-dollar organisation which spent decades routinely covering up child abuse, it turns out there may not be enough money to pay police officers their salaries.
I’ve never quite got the hang of pinching the bridge of my nose in a pained expression of exasperation. I always end up poking myself in the eye. But just imagine I’m looking tired and annoyed by all this, okay?